Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Short getaway!

We kinda had a really short getaway last week which turned out to be one of the first adventures in my life. We actually missed our flight in the morning cos we were out the whole night chilling. So to cut story short we decided to travel by bus instead. Took us nearly 6 hours to reach berjaya times square. Thank god i didnt have enough sleep cos id be the most crankiest person on earth!

We booked a night at avani sepang goldcoast resort which says its located near klia. We clearly underestimated the size of kl. Since we didnt get to catch our flight and ended up at BTS instead, we decided to chill and have our late lunch cum dinner at subway. We took the monorail to kl sentral after that thinking we could travel by public transport to klia and just cab over to our resort since its "near" klia.

When we reached kl sentral, we actually need to purchase tickets to klia which will cost us 35rm each. So then we decided to cab over from kl sentral instead. Little did we know its gonna be the most expensive cab ride ever in our entire lives!

We kinda get the jizz of the cab fare beforehand from the cab drivers. Unmetered would cost us 190rm so we decided to save a few bucks by taking the metered cab. The place is really secluded and we fucking love it. Out of the city's reach. Just peace. Just what we needed. 

After checking in, we were told that we could use any bicycles we can find around the resort! And the rooms, the view was just amazing!! We kinda got hungry after that and walked outside the resort to look for some cheap good food. Stumbled upon a warong and we had our late dinner cum supper. Pattaya for me and mee bandung for her. It hit the spot so we decided to call it a day. 

Woke up early the next day to have our breakfast and spend time with each other at the resort until its time to check out. Yeap it was only for a day but we enjoyed it very much. 

Thats not all! So we reached the airport 6 hours early. Had lunch and just walked around the whole airport mall and talked abt anything and everything. Found out that i lost my bunch of keys and couldnt gave enough fucks to look for it. Haha! Guess what? We missed our flight back home too!!!! Bloody hell what are the odds right? Exactly! After trying our best to talk things out with the tigerairways staff, its clear that we're gonna be fucked over. No more flights for that night and she's got internship the next day, things couldnt get any worse. So we bought the earliest tix at 615hrs the next day. What we did to kill time?

I love you for all the stupid things we do. They can say whatever they want i dont give any fucks about it.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Tuesday, January 05, 2010


I don't know how else to put this.
It's taking me so long to do this.
I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight.

My muscles feel like a melee,
My body's curled in a U-shape.
I put on my best, but I'm still afraid.

Propped up by lies and promises.
Saving my place as life forgets.
Maybe it's time I saw the world.

I'm only here for a while.
And patience is not my style,
And I'm so tired that I got to go.

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I supposed to do?
Did you really think I wouldn't see this through?

Tell me I should stick around for you.
Tell me I can have it all.
I'm still too tired to care and I got to go.

I get to go home in one week.
But I'm leaving home in three weeks.
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry.

I'm following suit and directions.
I crawl up inside for protection.
I'm told what to do and I don't know why.

I'm over-existing in limbo
I'm over the myths and placebos
I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family.
I'm ready to die in obscurity
Cause I'm so tired that I got to go.

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I supposed to do?
You still don't think I'm gonna see this through.

Tell me I'm a part of history.
Tell me I can have it all.
I'm still too tired to care and I got to go.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

jerk (–noun) - a contemptibly naive, fatuous, foolish, or inconsequential person.

after understanding what it means, i thought to myself, i was even worse than a jerk. people may not know what is the matter with us. wait, let me rephrase that, people may not know why is the author of this blog is gonna delete this site and move on to another.

people may think (or may not) that, he's only a jerk what. why until wanna delete the blog? so over siak. this is where i come in. im gonna put away my pride/ego or whatever u guys wanna call it. kental or what not. I DONT CARE.

i have not been a good boyfriend for the past 6 years. the only thing that kept us alive is her ongoing love for me, chance after chance that she had given me, year after year she had been waiting for me to change for the better. and what did i do? i changed. but not for long. after she starts being head over heels for me again, i became the usual self. i chatted with other girls, met other girls, messaging other girls, giving good morning/night messages, giving kisses through the phone which i was suppose to do to her. instead, she will be the one saying, "i love you" at the very end of our conversation. EVERY SINGLE TIME. what did i say? it will be different when time goes on actually. first i would say, "love you too". and after a while, "me too". and then, "ok". the very worse is when i just hung up the phone.

so, after the first paragraph, do i need to explain further how i mistreat her? u guys may get the point but this is 6 years im talking about. if i can do this, i can do a lot WORSE. she will be calling whenever she get the chance to. and if i dont answer the phone, i would just tell her off and say "later i call u back lah". which i dont. and when she wait and wait and cannot wait further, she will call again. i would say, "eh jgn call2 boleh tak?! @#%%@". see? now tell me, which of u girls can take it what i did to her for 6 SHITTY YEARS I HAD BEEN GIVING HER?!


we even took turns getting even with each other until i dont realise that i was the ROOT cause of all these. i cheated on her first. but what did i tell my closest friends/family when she cheated? i blamed her. ALL THE BLAME ON HER that i became like this when actually i was the one who created all THESE. and everytime when she just snapped out of it and dont want me anymore, i'll be that guardian angel trying to win her back. telling her this will be the last time i would do this. which u know, it wont be the last time. so tell me, when this thing happen again after we got engaged. who would have the right mind to give in AGAIN?! i wouldnt if u ask me. still, i do this. dont wanna let her go after she already made up her mind not to be with me. to call of the engagement. and there was i, BEGGING FOR FORGIVENESS. AGAIN. i feel like slapping myself.

this is not just another bf/gf relationship that im trying to save. im trying to save the engagement. to whoever who came on that day would know that she felt really happy and she would thought that at last, i changed. but, sadly.. as u know, i didnt.

this entry was not created by force. this is entirely me, Edd that goes by the name of Muhammad Syamil. after writing all these down, i just dont know how to even forgive myself. HOW ON EARTH DID SHE DO THAT? how can she forgive me when i did all these to her? look at how strong she is. IF one day, she really decides not to continue this relationship with me, pls, let her future bf/fiancee/husband read this entry and know that she is that loving, kind, forgiving. EVERYTHING. dont be STUPID like me.

if there are any grammar errors, i just dont bother to correct it. as long as u understand what im trying to convey in this entry. i may left out some points that led to the break up. feel free to ask me even more. i just wanna let her know now that, i love her so much.

i love you nurwaty yazid, whatever your decision may be.

yours sincerely,
this is edd.

i've been a jerk lately. i made my baby so sad, she wanna leave. but i cant let that happen can i?



sape tak sayang bini oiiiiiiii. alright that's all. back to sleep.